Since you been gone...

I’ve been gone for a while. Frankly. I just haven’t had shit to say.

Or maybe I have, but truly – it was a little quiet on all fronts and that is sayin’ something considering I am NEVER quiet.

I’ve been a little uninspired as of late. I was really beating myself up about that until actually just this morning.  

I hadn’t been going to yoga, getting to my mat. I wasn’t reading things I care about, taking time for myself, diving into my spirituality (which if you know me, you know I love!) It’s been so busy that I just don’t think I’ve been in the zone, if you will. I even felt like every time I tried to write, it all sounded confused and lost, too. Like everything around me, and the energy coming out of me – was a reflection of the weird energy inside of me.

And then this morning I woke up. I listened to my favorite Podcast and I thought to myself, it’s OK.

It’s OK to be off. And sometimes off is seven months. And sometimes it’s a year. Sometimes it’s only as long as a Mercury Retrograde. But all of that is OK. Just because it’s longer than a day doesn’t mean it’s your permanent state. Yes, it may be harder to get back to a good place when you’ve been on vacation from it for so long, but not impossible.

So this morning I decided to be nicer to myself. I’m going to work really hard at taking better care of myself, giving more time to me. Because it makes me a better coworker, friend and wife. But I’m also going to accept that on the weeks when I work too much, don’t work out and haven’t even stopped to read the news, that’s OK. And move the fuck on.

Why is it when we do good, it’s never good enough?

And when we aren’t doing well, it’s never going to get better?

Those two states are so polarizing. There’s no allowance for grace, compassion and space in-between.

So hopefully if you get nothing else out of this blog, you get permission to also be in a funk. To feel like you’ve just been “off” for weeks, or months. And to know that you’ll get back there. Whenever it’s the right time, you’ll know, and you’ll get there.

I won’t go back and talk about the last, essentially year of my life, but I will quickly recap some stuff for you.

 I got married!

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I spent a week with seriously all of my best friends (minus one with a little baby just born!) on the beach, in my favorite place, in celebration of spending life with my best friend. I wish I could say that the day of our wedding was the best day ever, but honestly, bumming around the beach, drinking White Claws, visiting Frosty Frogs, salty hair – all of it was just so fun. I wish I could relive that week every year of my life.


I feel like this is the part where I should give advice on wedding planning, but I think overall being with everyone for this week enabled me to reflect on how much more important those 7 days were than the 10 hours of my wedding. When I think back yes, of course I think about our first look and dancing all night. But more than that, I think about football on the beach, my drunk friends discussing ‘kinis’ for two hours, riding on ‘sicles (popsicle floats), our favorite drunk rascal, fast friend (you know who you are!) dancing on the sand on the Fourth of July to the BEST cover band, the rounds and rounds of golf my husband got to play with our family and friends, the dinners and the swims and all of the jokes and little moments that made the week unforgettable.


What I’m trying to say is your wedding is a big moment in your life. Huge! But sometimes, all of the little moments in between are worth the focus. So don’t let your wedding be everything. It’s just one thing. Ya dig?


We moved to Cinci.

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Holy shit balls. Never in a million years did I EVER think I’d leave Cleveland. Ever.


Probably the hardest decision I’ve ever made (and we’ve ever made) and it didn’t help that it came literally weeks before my wedding! So, we sold a house and bought a house and moved and got married and I started a new job – and that my friends, was JULY!


I love my work and that makes the move worth it. Our newlywed life has been unique in that we are away from all of our friends and family and starting over in a new city. But I would have DIED without him. I’m pretty sure he thought I was having a mental breakdown when I cut my hair and cried literally every single day after work for weeks on end the first month or so but I’ve survived! We are here and definitely enjoying Cinci life.

To answer the questions:

·      I work on a beauty brand with P&G for a great agency, hence Cinci.

·      Hell no I am not a Bengals fan. Never. Nor will I ever like the Reds.

·      I have a few friends. Bumble for friends has not helped at all. It’s bullshit.

·      We bought a house and our neighborhood is the best and they are our first true, new Cinci friends.

·      My sister and her husband live here but they travel often!

·      It’s much warmer only 4 hours South.

·      The dogs love their new yard and home.

·      I miss everyone, every day.


But, coming home for holidays was so nice. I value the time I have with my friends and family more than ever. It’s been a real awakening to how lucky I had it to be so near to everyone for so long. 4 hours is just a drive away but I’m so happy whenever I get to go back and see everyone I love so much.

Those are probably the biggest things that have happened. So maybe the funk is just a result of the constant change. But, like I said, in the words of my favorite QB: I woke up this morning feeling dangerous.


Cheers to the rest of 2019!



Shopbop Spring Sale!

It’s the Shopbop Spring Sale. I really feel like almost every single day Shopbop is having a sale but when I look back on my purchases I realize that’s absolutely not the truth. It’s rare that they offer 25% even NEW items. So, if you’ve been eyeing a new pair of shoes or bag for spring – this is the time to buy.

The offer is 20% off under $200 and 25% over $500 with code: EVENT18

A few of my favorite things from the sale:

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  1. I actually tried this on for my bridal shower and it’s so flattering. It worked even with my boobs. It looks a bit shorter but truly was not bad. I sized up for a bit of length and that seemed to work perfect. Usually sizing up in Free People would be a huge no-no but because of the wrap – it worked.
  2. This Pink Linen Moon River vest is to die. I love it! I want it. I need it.
  3. I love an effortless oversized “mens” shirt for summer with a destroyed denim short and flats. Add sunnies and it’s so chic and comfortable. This shirt is amazing. Stateside does the best button downs. Hand to God.
  4. I really need (don't get me started on the difference between want and need, kay?) a new summer bag and while I’m not quite ready to commit (because in my life I keep telling myself I will absolutely use the Gucci over the shoulder fanny-pack that I can’t afford) I love this Chloe option. So much style in such a little bag. You don’t want to be lugging things around in the summer so small bags are the way to go. Save your Neverfulls for winter when you need room for your hats, gloves etc. Summer should be light, effortless, easy.
  5. I love this Caroline K Swimsuit While I could never wear it, and don’t try with the “No, no you  could…” I pride myself on being a self-aware bitch, yanno? And my self-awareness tells me that high waisted things only make the situation worse. So. It’s still adorable and one of you boobless skinny bitches should buy it.
  6. I'm also super obsessed with this top for summer but I just couldn't accept the cost ad reward ratio. Maybe if it gets marked down once more I'll pull the trigger.
  7. I would probably give up a finger (just not the middle one) for these shoes. Are you kidding me? Like really. Are you? These are insane. I wanted to buy them so bad. But you know…#funemployeed. So until the weather warms and I can start turning tricks – they can’t be mine. But you should buy them. And I’ll act like I’m not jealous Kyle Richards and Lisa Vanderpump friendship-style.

So Kelly. What did you actually buy?

8. This Free People Alexa Duster. It doesn’t look all that exciting but I’ve seen it on a lot of my favorite bloggers and it’s tre-cute. Although you may have seen the yellow version around, the blue has been highly limited and I'm glad I grabbed it at a discount. Again, layering is my summer motto. And I love a floor length overcoat with short shorts!

9. This Femme T. I live in graphic tanks and tees in the summer. It is so easy with destroyed denim shorts to dress them up or down and right now I am VERY in to anything that shouts “GIRLS RULE BOYS DROOL MUTHA FUCKAAAA.” Hence. Purchase.

Check it out, make a good investment purchase for yourself this summer and let me borrow it. K? Thanks!

Happy Shopping.

What's Happening?

You guyssssss. 

So much has been going on. 

1. I quit my job. I'm officially funemployed. Kind of, since I am working with the CLE Baby crew. (Only the best Doulas in Cleveland)

2. I had my bachelorette party. There was a penis. I think that's about all that needs to be said. I'm still having flashbacks that drive me to the corner of a room in a fetal position.

3. My wedding is in 100 days. Holy shit. How did that even happen?

I thought today I might talk a little bit about some things on my mind...I mean don't get excited, it's pop culture. My favorite topic and let's get real, if you're reading my blog you obviously love it too.

First, Stormy Daniels. Girl. I just do not know. I mean I do know. But I don't. Ya know? I just need you to lay off the plastic surgery for awhile. Only because it's making you look older. And this is your chance to THRIVE. I'm excited to see how you take advantage of it. Live your best life girl. Start now.

Kylie had a baby. Holy shit. I was 100% like, "I'm not talking about it because Kylie didn't let us in on this. And it's just such a promo for that family." Fast-forward to me watching her video announcement crying into my mozzarella sticks. #TeamStormi. Holy shit. I just realized writing this that she named her baby Stormi and a porn star with that same name is literally all over the news for fucking our President. I don't know what I have to say about that.

RHOBH is close to an end. Honestly I'm bored. I for one am ready for the rachetness that is Potomac. At least shit goes down, you know? I don't watch these shows to see people crying about who is a better friend - I don't care. I don't need you to have friends. I need you to accuse someone of doing cocaine in a bathroom.

Yonce and Jay Z return to the stage together. And you best your ass I was online at 10 AM to buy my tickets. For someone who is unemployed, I sure know how to spend. I am so excited to see them again. On The Run 1 was seen in Chicago and honestly - it was difficult to watch. I was totally #TeamHeDidntCheat and went to that concert and left saying "Yes he did. Who the fuck is Becky?" Most of the time they were separate on stage and when they had to be together it was less than ideal touching. So, we've gotten through the infidelity on Beyonce (Which in my mind is punishable by death. Honestly you know there are some crazy beehive fans out there that have contemplated this shit and well, Beyonce didn't help matters knocking out car windows with bats and such...) and we are doing it all over again. I'm HERE FOR IT.

The royal wedding is approaching. You bet your sweet ass I took off work to watch Kate and William get married. And this time, we've got the royal badasses tying the knot. I will be there, two inches from my TV with tea and crumpets. Self-promo: Follow my live tweet.

But seriously, so many other things have been happening in the world. March For Our Lives was yesterday, we've had some serious and devastating losses to gun violence as of late. Our President has made some damning decisions and generally, the country still feels divided. 

Let's try to remember we are all human and we only get this one life, so let's use it to spread positivity. 


The Globes '18

This year’s Golden Globes were nothing short of amazing. I found myself wanting to find a black gown in my closet (because ya know your girls got one on hand) and watch the awards in solidarity with my fellow women.

The time has absolutely run out on all sexual assault, harassment and inequality in the workplace for all genders, sexes, races and ethnicities. It has always been and is now, time to do something about it.

I think back to my mom and all of the other women before her who I can only imagine, had it much worse than I. I see their success and know that the path was not easy, the road was rough.  I’m sure many of the great women who’ve come before me are all shouting, “It’s about time!”

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