Now that I’ve come out of my state of depression, accepting the fact that despite their adoring eyes, Leo and Kate will never be together, let’s talk fashion.
The 2016 Oscars took place on Sunday night and along with a few staples, a new group of golden girls and boys were up for the gold and dressed to impress.
But what fun would it be to only talk about that? Time for The Oscars Burn Book ladies and gents!
Alicia Vikander in her staple Louis Vuitton.
I know I will be accosted for this but I have to say, I think it’s overwhelming on her tiny gorgeous body. I love the effortless hair, gorgeous chandelier earrings and barely there stilettos. BUT. This is a great example of how easy formal ball gown can go prom. It’s a slippery slope my friends.
Speaking of slippery slope, Sophia Vergara.
Her body is fire. She could literally wear a bag and look FYNE. The immediate impulse to go gown for The Oscars is common, as it is the most formal of the awards however, this Marchesa gown is so incredibly prom-like and there is just too much going on. Her hair back however, is kill-er. I love that she switched it up and hope she does this more often with that gorgeous weave.
I know. Everyone in the world loved this Armani Prive ensemb. I so wish I could! She is usually such a hit for me. While I love the color and texture it was overall, in my opinion, too much. This dress would have been perfection leaving the top as-is, and beyond the waist in the same color, simple silk penciled to the ground. Just call me Ms. Armani.
Wearing Valentino haute couture, this was a tricky pick for me. I can’t decide if I would love the gown if it weren’t for the styling choices or… if I just hate it. The choker is so big and the hair so done, next to an already exaggerated shoulder and structure of the pleats, was a miss for me. Writing this now, I firmly believe with no necklace, simple earrings and a loose down hair (ala Kate Winslet)—she might have made my best dressed.
Also, like, do we all really have to wear chokers again?
Klum is known for wearing the tight, body hugging Calvin Klein looks and has completely gone a different direction in this ridiculous, overwhelming purple Marchesa dress. I can’t. It’s a disgrace to all of us Project Runway lovin’ fools. A disgrace wrapped in terrifying purple fabric and huge stuck on flowers.
More burns: Andra Day (big bird), Amy Poehler (bird feeder), Jennifer Jason Leigh (killed the bird for its feathers).
Now, to the Queens of the night...
Hi my name is Rooney Mara and I am an angel sent from above. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? This Givenchy is once again, as always, Rooney perfection. The hair, the lip and the in-sanity of the intricate details of this gown are making me feel so many feels.
I actually can’t recall a red carpet where I didn’t obsess over Miss. Watts. Remember that terrible Kacey Musgraves tragedy from The Grammys? Yeah. Me too. Take notes bitch, this is how ya do it! Armani Prive and Bulgari killin’ the game.
This was a very close best-dressed contender. First of all, she is pure perfection. I mean, please look at this Instagram. I die. Secondly, the Zuhair Murad dress, while a common silhouette for the red carpet with a sweetheart neckline and fishtail hem, is styled to perfection and is just total fire with the addition of that metallic belt against the feminine sheer white.
This August Getty Atelier dress is an emerald second-skin on this gorgeous girl. There are no Spanx under that! Yes. Bow down. AND, the side-boob is everything. Ev-er-y-th-an-g.
While she looked to-die on the red carpet in Dior Haute Couture, I had to highlight her after party look that I was entirely way too obsessed with. I love the full ensemb, the simple choker and one large statement ring, with that gorgeous white-blonde bob? Swoon. This Alexander Wang crop top and skirt combo is every-thing.
So who took home the honor of my Best Dressed you might ask?
Daisy Ridley in Chanel.
The ankle length style can be so tricky. I say that as someone who is five foot and nowhere near the 90lbs Daisy clearly is. But, really, it can be a difficult look on a woman and this dress is perfection on her. The slightest bit of peplum, the hem, the color, the hair, the accessories and those perfect shoes—she slayed ya'll.
Other swoon-worthy ladies: Olivia Wilde, Chrissy Teigan, Gaga, Emily Blunt, Margot Robbie and Charlize (hair not included).
What a fabulous night for fashion it was, and let's be honest, every awards show is now better with Jacob Tremblay around.
Congrats to my first love, Leonardo. Salut!