No Shirt, No Problem

Where did the summer go? I feel like just yesterday I was kidding myself—actually believing I'd be hitting the gym daily and not eating carbs. 

Also, Mercury is in retrograde so shit is getting weeee-hhhheeerrr-dddd up in here. That said, I decided to do a little something weird too, and craft my review of VMA fashion. That's right. The VMAs.

For all of you pip-squeaks who don't know, the VMAs are called the "Video Music Awards" because there used to be a little show (that shaped an en-tire generation) called TRL. Long before Carson Daily graced us with his presence on The Voice, he was kickin' it with Tara Reid and talking to Britney on - the - reg. Music videos were fire, and I ran home (that's dramatic, I took the bus), from school daily to sit and watch ALL of them. Now, the VMAs have many categories and only a select few focus on video production. (Sad face.)

If you recall, I believe the Grammys are the shit show of all red carpets. But, that was before I ever decided to review a VMA red carpet. In the end, I'd say they are pret-ty similar in their shit-show levels. So, let's table that contest for another day.

A few stunners from Sunday night's show that I won't even bother to include in my best and worst because you all know my clear bias. These include: Beyonce, Blue Ivy, Stella Maxwell, Kimmy K., RuPaul Drag Race and Ashley Graham—all on the best list. 

Who else?

Hailee Steinfeld in Giuseppe. 

I love the idea of a mini at the VMAs. It's the perfect venue for a fun, young ensemb and Hailee, is both of those things. She looks killer. Love the makeup, the only thing I may have changed is working a slicked pony versus a curl (but she probably knew Ariana Grande was going to have that shit on lock). Either way, it's magic.

Nicki Minaj in Bao Tranchi.

NEVER in my life have I EVER included my girl Nicki in a best dressed list. Love her, but I think we can all admit the girl is usually doing something cray cray. This gown fits her like a glove and peeked a little skin in all the right places—to die.

Hailey Baldwin in Georges Chakra.

Less is more and she really nailed that concept in her black sequin jumpsuit. Not trying too hard, but edgy and chic enough for the venue. Plus, we all know I love a jumpsuit. Total hit. 

DJ Khaled. 

Let me qualify this as only his red carpet look (not the other ten outfits where he didn't have a shirt). I love a man in a navy blue suit, and this navy happens to be a light giraffe print. It's just cool enough for the VMAS but classy enough to make him look like a million bucks! Plus velvet shoes? I'm on board.

My best dressed of the night however, goes to...

Hollan Roden. 

I'll admit, I had to look this one up. Apparently she is in Teen Wolf (the new MTV version). This white caped jumpsuit is in-sane! Her hair and makeup are perfection for an all white night. She even did a little sparkle of gold glitter down her center part and it was fierce! I loved everything about this look. Ev-ery-thing.

The worst begins with Miss. Ariana Grande in Alexander Wang.

I hate to do this, because I'm so into you, Ariana. Get it? She is currently my obsession and girl crush. Plus, we know I love Alexander Wang. The entire thing was so 90s—right down to the crimped hair. And that would be cool, if she was even born yet! 

Farrah Abraham.

I actually don't even want to give her the satisfaction of being on this list but I can't just ignore the fact that this wackadoodle wore an actual COSTUME to the VMAs. I've acknowledged it, OK bye. (Blogger Note: She is most definitely my worst dressed but I feel even THAT is too much of an honor for her).

Jaden Smith.

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Public Service Announcement: Jaden Smith is 18. I literally thought he was like, 11. Mind blown. Mr. 18-years-young Smith decided to wear a bizarre cat print jacket to the VMAs this year and make out with his girlfriend passionately in the audience. So there's that. She must have really liked cats?

Alicia Keys.

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Loved your speech. So in-sanely jealous that you can not wear any makeup and look that gorgeous. Want to burn your dress or return it to The Duggars. Sorry.

There are so many terrible outfits that donned the white carpet on Sunday (Rita Ora, Justine Skye—I'm looking at you). So many of those that also involved not wearing a shirt...at all. So, it only makes sense to pick a worst dressed, that's half dressed.

The worst in this no-shirt-wearing-trend-category, is Cassie.

The yellow hair, the ridiculous spray tan contour, the blazer that in no way would EVER button even if she wanted it to, some seriously 70s pants (which I might not hate in the right context). It's just trying way too hard for me. Way. Too. Hard.

Then, there are those that have made trying to hard an art. I wish I could dedicate an entire section of this post to a category of "too cool" but you guys would be snoozing by the end of it. So, in my brief "too cool" round up:

  • G-Eazy. Like, we get it, your all grunge and rocker and sooooo cool. Button your shirt.
  • Ansel Elgort. Who are you again? And why do you shop at Hot Topic?
  • Nick Cannon. You're so cool in your workout attire. NOT.
  • Lance Bass. Love the message, hate that you can't pose without throwing up a peace sign.
  • Nev Schulman's fiance, Laura. I get it, your married to a docu film maker, so chic. EXCEPT HE WORKS ON A SHOW CALLED CATFISH. So not. 
  • Alessia Cara. I mean, a group of tweens will be wearing this exact outfit to school this week? Bravo?

Basically, the VMA fashion was mostly a mess, but I really enjoyed it—almost as much as I loved the fact that TaySway wasn't present because she's scared of Kimmy. And the debut Kanye's latest manic episode documented via video.

Until next time!