2017 Grammys

The Grammys! The shit show of awards show fashion. I can’t. I lit-er-ally can-not. It’s just so insanely ridiculous, it’s too good. But this year, other than Cee Lo Green and Joy Villa, which I refuse to comment on in this blog, I was a little disappointed in the hideousness of the ensembs. There were a few, but what happened to the days where Lady G arrived in an egg, ya know?

This year, we had a few real misses (and some that I hate to even put pen to paper due to my absolute love for the person wearing them.)

Katie Perry

I was so excited for this outfit! She Snapped the top and I saw her makeup and hair and almost passed out from elation. Then, she came out for the full show and I wanted to rip off every single tacky feather on the Tom Ford skirt and cut all the excess off of that turtle neck. Can you imagine if this entire turtle neck chic blouse was a body con dress on her in-sane hour shape figure? Come on! She looks like a grandma albeit a chic one.

Girl Crush

I honestly could not tell you who this person is or what she sings. All I know is that she looks like an asshole.

Halsey

I honestly BARELY know who you are which means now is not the time to wear a dumb outfit. Become Lady G and then we'll revisit this.

Taraji P Henson

She’s got a lot to live up to because we all know Cookie is bri-ing-ing-it on the daily. This was so confusing. The sleeves, the lavender the appliqués and the wrinkles….good God the wrinkles.

Elle King

DRESS FOR YOUR SHAPE. She is absolutely gorgeous and this busy print is doing no-th-ing for her. I can’t even imagine how amazing she’d look in a figure-flattering solid.

I really want to bring up Celine Dion but I’m afraid I’ll disappear immediately and never return. So, I'll leave it up to you to discover.

Other disasters: Andra Day, Laverne Cox (I know, I’m sorry!), Santigold, Jacqueline Van Bierk, Heidi Klum, Cassadee Pope, Sibley Scoles

 

Now, for the best dressed. The winners of the red carpet. The fashion forward men and women who make my heart happy...

JLo

Need I say more?

Kat Graham

This is insane. Top to bottom the striped gown in the perfect cut, slicked hair and the most gorgeous red lip. This is a home run for me.

Paris Jackson

We all know I die for a Balmain Army Girl. When she came on the red carpet I immediately exclaimed she was my first favorite. I love the colors of this gown, the drapes and the cut-outs and her hair is amazing!

Rihanna in Armani Privé

Holy shit. I have no words. I am so obsessed with this entire look. Her tattoo under the gorgeously fitted crop top? Um. Sexy! And the fullness of the skirt contrast with the skimpiness of the top? Die. Hair and earrings are perfection. Such a fun Grammys look.

Adele

Hello, regal. (I realized after I wrote this that it is ironic.) Riccardo Tisci, a good Italian boy and GIVENCHY, knows how to design for the women with curves. She looks beautiful! I love a long sleeve and the cinch at the waist? I’m here for it.

Diana Gordon

If you don’t know this Queen, she wrote and produced with Bey on her Lemonade album. I loved this simple, chic black gown with fun cutouts and tied sleeves to Grammy-it-up.

Gaga

Do I like this outfit? No. Do I think she’s insane and die for it? Yes. But Gaga makes my best dressed list in that she did not let the insane body-shamers get the best of her and came out looking so fierce in basically nothing. For those men and women who said her stomach was over her shorts at the super bowl? F*** you.

Chance the Rapper

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What a cool way to rock a two piece suit. I loved this entire ensemble for the Grammys. His signature ball cap with a super structured grey suit and the shoes bringing the cap back? So cool. It was just dressy enough but totally indicative of his signature style.

Other greats: Maren Morris in Michael Costello, Chrissy Teigen, Demi Lovato, Lea Michele (gown only), Carrie Underwood, Faith Hill

Overall, it was a better day for best dressed than the worst. But hey, maybe they are finally figuring it out? Hire a stylist. Not a weird one. Like, a fab one, Rachel Zoe or something. OK? Cool.

Blogger PSA: If you want to feel old, try to watch the Grammys and realize how many people you don't know.

See ya soon!